I'll Sing a Song to Myself
by a-halfblood-with-attitude
Summary: Nico is alone and doubting himself, his thoughts running wild. That is until his knight in shining armour appears.


I'll sing a song to myself

Nico was sitting, alone, in the Hades cabin. Hazel was back at Camp Jupiter and most people had gone back to school by now. Will was busy working in the infirmary and Nico didn't really know what to do. He started thinking about everything that had happened in the past few years, but then realised his mistake. His eyes glazed over and he bit his lip to stop himself from crying.

 _When the memories breach out_

 _Your thoughts, they start to shout_

This is why he tried not to venture into his past. Doing so would shatter his mental barrier and just one thought could make all the rest explode.

He thought back to the good old days, at the start of world war two. He was only small then and everything around him seemed amazing. Obviously he wouldn't remember the war and the fact that nothing good had happened at that time. The Nazis were taking power and countries were beginning to fight each other. Nostalgia for when he was young and naïve was all he could think of.

 _The day turns grey_

 _A nightmare whilst awake_

It switched to a flash of his mother being struck at by Zeus and a tear ran down his cheek, dropping onto his trouser leg. His father had managed to save him and Bianca but his mother was killed. And it was his fault. If he wasn't there maybe his father could have saved his mother instead. Maybe Bianca would still be alive.

 _All the minutes it'd take_

 _To be sure my truth stayed safe_

It was now to the promise Percy had made to him. _I will protect your sister._ But that didn't happen, did it. Percy had got back a hero and his sister didn't at all. He couldn't blame Percy though. It was his fault. His fault his sister was dead.

 _I don't want them to know_

 _About the monster I've become_

That day he had ran, ran away and changed. He was no longer happy. He was a real child of Hades. It didn't get better there though. Then it was Midas. He was supposed to help him and train him. All he did was make Nico feel worse.

 _The monster I am_

 _It's the reason I'm alone_

Then, after the war he was treated normally. He had helped save the day after all. The only reason Hades helped was because of him. The only reason Percy beat Luke was because of him. He was no longer frowned upon. Except that it didn't last. That is why Nico left again.

 _The reason I'm an outsider_

 _That nobody likes_

And then he found his sister. His new sister mind you. Hazel. She was a beautiful girl even in the dismal plain fields of asphodel. He managed to save her and with his father's help, discovered Camp Jupiter where she found a new home. It made him happy. But that didn't last either.

 _I tried to make it up_

 _But that didn't work_

It was a stupid idea. Stupid! Why did he think looking that far in the Underworld would ever work? What made him think it would actually make him liked? He went down there and couldn't even complete his silly mission. No he had to get caught by those giants and lure everyone else into a trap. It was his fault. His fault Percy and Annabeth nearly died. He should have died. It was his fault.

' _Cause I'm just a monster_

 _That nobody likes_

And when he was saved, does he get a break? No, he has to shadow travel across countries and seas, to return a fucking statue of Athena. And then he made it worse by killing Bryce Lawrence. He couldn't just leave him alone. He had to go and ruin his new friendships by scaring them and showing them the true monster he is.

 _I'm a monster_

 _So stay away_

All he ever did was mess things up. Why did he even try? What was the point? He couldn't survive Tartarus and from that nearly every night he had a nightmare. What was it with that place? And then came the memories from there. The smell. The sounds. The monsters always re-spawning. How life like everything was.

 _Take the warnings I do give to you_

 _The signs point the way away_

He was physically shaking now, the thoughts and memories alive in his mind. Maybe he was having a panic attack. He was finding it hard to breathe. _Breathe,_ he tried to tell himself. _Breathe. You're not there anymore._ It wasn't working though and just when he had lost all hope he heard someone call his name.

 _For your safety stay away_

He tried to tell them he was a monster. That they should walk away and forget about him. That he was a murderer. All that came out was gasped cries. The person kept repeating his name and Nico finally calmed down enough to focus on it.

"Will," he said.

"It's alright Death Boy," Will whispered stroking his back. He went in for a hug and Nico held on tight, his breathing slowing down.

"You're not there anymore."

And that was how Percy found both boys come dinner time; Nico and Will hugging each other, sleeping peacefully.

So of course Percy took a photo to blackmail them with.

* * *

A/N – Ok yes I know I should be updating my other stories but this came to me and so I just had to write it. I am in the process of writing chapters for my other stories that need updating, I swear. Also did you know intelligent people are more likely to procrastinate? Yeah I'm intelligent. Boom. And tomorrow is my birthday! I turn older! As well I've been listening to loads of Panic! lately. Well… anyway thanks for reading and sorry about the rant. If you liked this please give it a review so I know what kind of things you like and if interested then check out some of my other stories.

Bye

~a-halfblood-with-attitude


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